All natural resources are limited. It is therefore important that all companies make products that can be used for many years. To what extent do YOU agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, natural
resources
Use synonyms
dwindle.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people realize the value of these
resources
Use synonyms
and make efforts to find solutions for preserving them. It is true that all enterprises are essential to manufacturing long-lasting
products
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
point of view. If I were a manufacturer, I would be convinced that producing durable
products
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
would
show examples
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
several economic disadvantages to my business. First and foremost, the number of sold
products
Use synonyms
is mainly prioritized, because of the payment for production and employees and making a profit.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe that lasting
products
Use synonyms
discourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption so the companies can not make a profit as expected.
For example
Linking Words
, durable clothing is bought and worn for a long time even until it is torn,
instead
Linking Words
of frequently being purchased.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cost of production becomes a financial burden. To manufacture enduring goods, companies have to use
high-qualified
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
show examples
and durable sources of materials which are obviously prohibitive.
Besides
Linking Words
, they are supposed to apply advanced and modern machines which are
also
Linking Words
costly. In fact, I am a consumer, with that said, lasting
products
Use synonyms
have their own host of benefits, in my opinion. The first merit would be that I could consume my budget economically.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is unnecessary for me to buy new things too often with the intention of saving money.
For instance
Linking Words
, I bought an
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
and have utilized it for 10 years without buying a new one till it breaks. The second merit is that the environment can be protected
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because natural materials belong to the environment.
Hence
Linking Words
, when people use durable goods, it contributes to reducing the amount of garbage discharged. More specifically, trash brings about environmental pollution so the reduction of trash means that the natural habitat could be saved.
In addition
Linking Words
, materials would
also
Linking Words
be used sparingly, and natural
resources
Use synonyms
could be exploited judiciously. In conclusion, manufacturing long-lasting
products
Use synonyms
has a great deal of benefits for saving natural
resources
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, as for the business, I opine that there are a couple of drawbacks which are triggered by
this
Linking Words
solution.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt well, expressing agreement and disagreement with solid reasoning, which showcases a good understanding of the task. However, ensure that both viewpoints have balanced support and depth to achieve a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Utilize more linking words or phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Language Use
Ensure that technical terms or expressions are used accurately to bolster your arguments. A further review of synonymous vocabulary could enhance the richness of your expression.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context and presents your stance effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay includes practical examples, such as the reference to an iPhone, which helps in illustrating points clearly.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: