The use of electronics has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The use of electronic
media
makes personal relationships between people
bad. Personally, I agree with this
idea, electronic media
are likely one of the reason
causing problems in relationships. Using electronic Change to a plural noun
reasons
media
such
Correct your spelling
as
us
mobile phone Correct your spelling
as
make
them not good at communication, Change the verb form
makes
people
instead
of talk in person
they will use text it through phone, when you text, it sometimes makes misunderstanding between you and that person
, they won’t know if you are mad or not sometimes it will lead to argument
. Another reason is students, nowadays students Add an article
an argument
using
electronic Wrong verb form
use
media
a lot, they can easily make fun of each other on the internet but when it goes too far can lead to suicide. Friends make
fun of each Wrong verb form
making
others
are normal but when it reach out of Change to a singular noun
other
limit
like pose some Correct article usage
the limit
kind
of videos and pictures can
be sensitives to their friends which lead to bullies, from friends Correct pronoun usage
that can
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
enimies
because of the network. Correct your spelling
enemies
Last
but not least people
lose their trust to
each Change preposition
in
others
because of Change to a singular noun
other
Add an article
a scammer
the scammer
scammer
, Fix the agreement mistake
scammers
Scammer
is a person
who commits fraud or participates in a dishonest scheme, they will text you win some kind
of price with amount
of Add an article
the amount
money
then
they ask for your personal information, some people
believe that lost their money
. Scammer
has become more and more sinister due to the Covid 19 the Add an article
The scammer
A scammer
scammer
will act like a poor person
who need
help, they ask for Change the verb form
needs
money
from you. Be careful with this
kind
of scammer
, not only this
kind
of scammer
when come to money
don’t easily believe them. In conclusion, I think media
has it
own benefits and downsides. It all depends on how Change the pronoun
its
people
use themSubmitted by ieltswritingcheckp on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
