The use of electronics has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of electronic
media
makes personal relationships between
people
bad. Personally, I agree with
this
idea, electronic
media
are likely one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
causing problems in relationships. Using electronic
media
such
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
mobile phone
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them not good at communication,
people
instead
of talk in
person
they will use text it through phone, when you text, it sometimes makes misunderstanding between you and that
person
, they won’t know if you are mad or not sometimes it will lead to
argument
Add an article
an argument
show examples
. Another reason is students, nowadays students
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
electronic
media
a lot, they can easily make fun of each other on the internet but when it goes too far can lead to suicide. Friends
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
fun of each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
are normal but when it reach out of
limit
Correct article usage
the limit
show examples
like pose some
kind
of videos and pictures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be sensitives to their friends which lead to bullies, from friends
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
enimies
Correct your spelling
enemies
because of the network.
Last
but not least
people
lose their trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
because of
Add an article
a scammer
the scammer
show examples
scammer
Fix the agreement mistake
scammers
show examples
,
Scammer
is a
person
who commits fraud or participates in a dishonest scheme, they will text you win some
kind
of price with
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
of
money
then
they ask for your personal information, some
people
believe that lost their
money
.
Scammer
Add an article
The scammer
A scammer
show examples
has become more and more sinister due to the Covid 19 the
scammer
will act like a poor
person
who
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
help, they ask for
money
from you. Be careful with
this
kind
of
scammer
, not only
this
kind
of
scammer
when come to
money
don’t easily believe them. In conclusion, I think
media
has
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
own benefits and downsides. It all depends on how
people
use them
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electronics
  • negative effect
  • personal relationships
  • screen time
  • face-to-face interaction
  • distraction
  • meaningful conversation
  • social media
  • false sense of connection
  • technology
  • lack of empathy
  • emotional depth
  • online interactions
  • misunderstandings
  • conflicts
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