IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The use of electronics has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#electronics #effect #relationships #people
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The use of electronic
media
Use synonyms
 makes personal relationships between
people
Use synonyms
 bad. Personally, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, electronic
media
Use synonyms
 are likely one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 causing problems in relationships. Using electronic
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 mobile phone
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them not good at communication,
people
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of talk in
person
Use synonyms
 they will use text it through phone, when you text, it sometimes makes misunderstanding between you and that
person
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, they won’t know if you are mad or not sometimes it will lead to
argument
Add an article
an argument
show examples
. Another reason is students, nowadays students
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 electronic
media
Use synonyms
 a lot, they can easily make fun of each other on the internet but when it goes too far can lead to suicide. Friends
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 fun of each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 are normal but when it reach out of
limit
Correct article usage
the limit
show examples
 like pose some
kind
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 of videos and pictures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be sensitives to their friends which lead to bullies, from friends
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
enimies
Correct your spelling
enemies
 because of the network.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least
people
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 lose their trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 because of
Use synonyms
Add an article
a scammer
the scammer
show examples
scammer
Fix the agreement mistake
scammers
show examples
,
Scammer
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 is a
person
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 who commits fraud or participates in a dishonest scheme, they will text you win some
kind
Use synonyms
 of price with
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they ask for your personal information, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that lost their
money
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Scammer
Add an article
The scammer
A scammer
show examples
 has become more and more sinister due to the Covid 19 the
scammer
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 will act like a poor
person
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 who
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 help, they ask for
money
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 from you. Be careful with
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of
scammer
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, not only
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of
scammer
Use synonyms
 when come to
money
Use synonyms
 don’t easily believe them. In conclusion, I think
media
Use synonyms
 has
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 own benefits and downsides. It all depends on how
people
Use synonyms
 use them
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • electronics
  • negative effect
  • personal relationships
  • screen time
  • face-to-face interaction
  • distraction
  • meaningful conversation
  • social media
  • false sense of connection
  • technology
  • lack of empathy
  • emotional depth
  • online interactions
  • misunderstandings
  • conflicts
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