IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The internet has make many things in our lives simpler. However, it has also brought new threats. Do the advantages of using the internet outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advancement of technology,the
internet
Use synonyms
brought
Verb problem
has brought
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 many changes to automate the manual process.
While
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 others are concerned
about
Change preposition
that
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 the usage of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 may cause hacking of personal information from computers.
However
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 point
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of
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view, the usage of the
internet
Use synonyms
 has the majority of advantages than
disadvantages
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.In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss positive measures about the
internet
Use synonyms
 and safety measures
while
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 using computers. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
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 with,software engineers introduce a wide range of new applications to simplify
the
Correct article usage
apply
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several operations in daily life
beneficial
Punctuation problem
, beneficial
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 to society.
Firstly
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,
In
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in
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 past
decades
Punctuation problem
decades,
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 the
internet
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 was not popular and expensive to maintain for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industries like banking and tourism.
Consequently
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, offering in-person services like transferring money to other accounts and obtaining the statements is difficult in the banks, making reservations for trains complex and lengthy process to get the reservation.
Besides
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 that,today in the market
internet
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 is affordable price and
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
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 online services to transfer and
booking
Replace the word
book
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 tickets in just one click.
As a result
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, customers are so happy and feel comfortable without attending in person to the bank.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 using the
computer
Punctuation problem
computer,
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 there are several
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 often too.
Firstly
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,hackers are trying to steal money from bank accounts
while
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 using online banking by sending viruses through advertisements.
Also
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,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 we click without identifying the
risk
Punctuation problem
risk,
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 they can easily enter into your
system
Punctuation problem
system,
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 run some programs,
automatically
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and automatically
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withdrawing
Wrong verb form
withdraw
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 amounts from your personal accounts.
Secondly
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,
On
Fix capitalization
on
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 the
Use synonyms
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
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 there are social media applications
are
Verb problem
apply
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available to communicate with other people
,
Punctuation problem
.
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However
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,youth spend the majority time on the
internet
Use synonyms
 making new virtual friends.
As a result
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, they are ignoring studies and causing serious health problems.
For instance
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,a recent report conducted by a survey on India on children,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 spending time on video games like
pubg
Use the right word
PUBG
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 may
cause
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lead
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 to leading
suicides
Change preposition
to suicides
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due to
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 overspent time
on
Verb problem
spent on
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 games. In conclusion, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 made human life simpler
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 if we utilise it in a proper manner avoid risks.
However
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, there are
disadvantages
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
to
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 using computers with taking some safety
measures
Punctuation problem
measures,
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 to
install
Wrong verb form
installing
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 antivirus and child locking software.
Therefore
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,
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 has advantages that outweigh the
disadvantages
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Be clear about your view at once and say if the good sides beat the bad ones. give a direct answer.
coherence
language
Give more real and simple examples. Check grammar and use punctuation well.
argument
The writer takes a clear stance that the internet has more good points.
content
The essay uses real ideas like online banking and ticket buy.
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