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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it will cause some problems. Do you agree or disagree

#people #work #age
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In senior
people
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 who spend all their life to
work
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, to earn money, escape poverty and upgrade the standard of their life. In the era of modernisation,
people
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 tend to
work
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although
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 aged 60 will provoke some problems
such
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 as
health
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, mentally disorder. So in
this
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 essay, I completely agree that
people
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 who are not allowed to retire after 60 years old will be endured some problems.
Firstly
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, there are two main reasons why
people
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 tend to
work
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 after the
age
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 of 60. They want to promote their career that can help them to have more earnings to buy some luxurious things they want or simply upgrade the standard of living.
Besides
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, they
work
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 so hard, to reversing money for their children so their children can start a business more easily than they. Sometimes, they can not retire because of their influence in their industry so they must find a person who can alternate their position.
Secondly
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, there are some consequences to
this
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. If they
work
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 after the
age
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 of 60 which their
health
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 does not allow to do so much like before, they will cause some problems as
health
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.
For example
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, some
people
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 will be sick or go to the hospital regularly to check their
health
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 and they will lose money to buy
health
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 insurance since they
work
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 after the
age
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 of 60, the
age
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 of retirement. In conclusion, After the
age
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 of 60,
people
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 should not
work
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 too much like adults. They can retire and go home to relax or take care of their family.
Submitted by juliethaonguyen1993 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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