IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people love driving their own cars others think that public transport is the only sensible way to travel around the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most
people
Use synonyms
 who own a
car
Use synonyms
 like the freedom of driving and having the
comfortability
Check wording
comfort
show examples
 of their
car
Use synonyms
. The other part of
people
Use synonyms
 who don't agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
, prefer public
transport
Use synonyms
 as their form of transportation. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to use public
transport
Use synonyms
 as it is
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
 good for the environment and causes less traffic.
Firstly
Linking Words
using
Punctuation problem
, using
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
minimizes
Change the spelling
minimises
show examples
 the amount of gas each
car
Use synonyms
 releases
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere. Gases are basically carbon dioxide
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 when they are released from the
cars
Punctuation problem
cars,
show examples
 they go up
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
ozon
Correct your spelling
ozone
surface
Check wording
layer
show examples
 of the earth
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
show examples
 it holes. The
ozon
Correct your spelling
ozone
surface
Check wording
layer
show examples
 is a protective shield around
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 that protects it from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside factors, in
this
Linking Words
case
Punctuation problem
case,
show examples
 sun damage. The holes caused by gases result in the
sun
Check wording
sun's
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 rays to come raw in the
earths
Check wording
Earth's
show examples
 atmosphere
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human skin
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 cause global
warming
Punctuation problem
warming,
show examples
 since once they come in,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 harder for them to escape.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 using public
transport
Use synonyms
 lessens the amount of cars used
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 less amount of gas
.
Verb problem
is used.
show examples
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 doesn't cause as much traffic as each person having their own
car
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 accidents. That's because a bus
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 holds way more
people
Use synonyms
 than a
car
Use synonyms
 and is only the size of two of them.
Thirdly
Linking Words
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
 you had fun that night driving drunk
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 not a good idea.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 is far cheaper than paying for gas every 3 days. School buses
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 have a
10 dollar
Use the right word
10-dollar
show examples
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
 card which you can use whenever you want. In conclusion, public
transport
Use synonyms
 is better for a clean environment with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 accidents and traffic and more money in your pockets.

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coherence
Work on one clear view and give two or three strong reasons for it.
content
Add a short, clear example for each reason to back up your point.
language
Use easy words and spell common terms right, eg 'ozone' is hard, say 'air layer' or 'good air'
purpose
You share your view at once and say why you think it.
structure
You use first, second, third to show steps.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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