IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

In the contemporary era, societies tend to utilise private
cars
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 as a main means of commuting.
Although
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 it has benefits for individuals,
this
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 reliance can bring about many potential dilemmas ,
such
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 as
traffic
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 congestion and air pollution.
This
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 essay will explain some probable solutions to address the mentioned
problems
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. One of the main
problems
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 that lies in the excessive
use
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 of private
cars
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 is
traffic
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 jams. When personal vehicles are dominant in transportation, many
cars
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 come to the roads and they directly impact cities'
traffic
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 systems, since many roads and highways have defined capacity and they are not able to respond more.
Furthermore
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, gasoline
cars
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 emit a noticeable amount of CO2 and other gases into the atmosphere, which can contribute to air pollution , especially in big cities and eventually ozone depletion. To tackle these
problems
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, amenities of public transportation should be developed, since many people don't find any interest in public vehicles,
due to
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 the lack of convenience.
For example
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, in Iran, many employees don't have any tendency to
use
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 subways or buses, since they don't have sufficient seats, and they have to get into trouble for long distances.
Moreover
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, imposing penalties on passengers who
use
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 their
cars
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 unnecessarily on all days can be considered a reliable solution.
For instance
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, Iran's government set a plan that permits people to
use
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 their
cars
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 in some areas without permission , and if they go to restricted areas without permission, they should pay a fine. In conclusion, over-reliance on private
cars
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 is associated with difficulties like
traffic
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 congestion and poor air quality. To address these
problems
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, some measures should be implemented ,
such
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 as improving public transportation systems and considering penalties for drivers who
use
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 private
cars
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 unnecessarily.

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coherence
Have one clear idea in each part and use easy words to join ideas (and, but, so).
grammar
Make sentences short and fix mistakes in grammar.
task
Add more details or examples to show how the ideas work.
content
The writing shows care for the topic.
structure
It has a plan with problems first then solutions.
example
It gives an example from Iran.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • private car
  • car
  • transport
  • traffic
  • traffic jam
  • air pollution
  • noise
  • health
  • time
  • money
  • fuel
  • petrol
  • diesel
  • accident
  • safety
  • road
  • city
  • bus
  • train
  • bike
  • cycle
  • walk
  • pedestrian
  • parking
  • plan
  • policy
  • government
  • cost
  • fuel tax
  • charge
  • lane
  • bike lane
  • public transport
  • car sharing
  • limit driving
  • reduce
  • cleaner cars
  • climate change
  • urban planning
  • city center
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