IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The car is possibly the most convenient and popular way of getting from A to B. However, due to its impact on the environment and the risk it poses to pedestrians and motorists, governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on this mode of transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#car #b #impact #environment #risk #pedestrians #motorists #governments #steps #dependency #mode #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mobile
cars
 driving nowayads is the most usual transportation method to reach the destination. Despite
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 comfort and convenience,
cars
 harm
ecological
Correct article usage
the ecological
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 and often cause road accidents with other participants of the road movement.
Therefore
, I totally agree that governments should control the number of
cars
 and our dependency on them. Traffic jams in large cities became a common thing at peak hours. People spend about 3 or 4 hours per day stuck in their
cars
.
This
 problem,
however
,
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
 by
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
cars
 in cities. Some families have more than one
car
 and contribute
this
Change the determiner
this car
these cars
show examples
cars
 to overall traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and big spontaneous
parkings
Correct your spelling
parking
 on the streets.
This
 problem should be properly regulated by governments.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 serious disadvantage of
cars
 is their environmental pollution. Every
car
 releases carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxides , which contribute to the
green-house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
 effect and harm human respiratory systems. Even
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of concrete and other materials for roads use up crude oil ad release harmful
agends
Correct your spelling
agents
agendas
 Controlling
car
 transportation and supplying public and bike transportation can really help our nature and health. In conclusion, it is clear that
car
 traffic should be urgently reduced and its uncontrolled growth should be stopped, especially by our governments.
Submitted by aiganym.1999b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: