Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

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It is argued that vaccines could prevent many illnesses.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are families that refuse to inject their youngsters with vaccines, while others believe that it should be required.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay examines both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides

The singular countable noun side follows the quantifier both, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

argument and why I believe that it is kosher to be
vaccined
Correct your spelling
vaccinated

If you don’t want vaccined to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. On the one hand, there is a proponent that disagrees that
health’s
Change noun form
health

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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officials should not force citizens to be injected with any substance. There are several reasons why there are families that do not want their children to get the
vaccine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they believe that humans have natural immunity that prevents us from numerous viruses.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, individuals had been
practicing
Change the spelling
practising

The spelling of practicing is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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their everyday life
normaly
Correct your spelling
normally

If you don’t want normaly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are parents that have the notion that governments must not mandate citizens to get the
vaccine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they believe that they have the free will to choose
fro
Correct your spelling
for

The word fro doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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their children.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a consensus among
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that advocate
to
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition to seems unecessary after the verb advocate. Consider removing the preposition.

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the benefits of the use of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Add an article
the vaccine
a vaccine
show examples
Add an article
the vaccine
a vaccine

The noun phrase vaccine seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
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. These individuals have various reasons why they support the idea of vaccination.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, there are a plethora of
researchs
Correct your spelling
research

If you don’t want researchs to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, articles, and books that reinforced the fact that vaccines are protecting
Correct article usage
the human’s
show examples
Correct article usage
the human’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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human’s
Change noun form
human
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body from
innumberale
Correct your spelling
innumerable

If you don’t want innumberale to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, policymakers should come up with a policy that mandate
citzens
Correct your spelling
citizens

If you don’t want citzens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to get the
vaccine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and should be
unnegociatable
Correct your spelling
unnegotiable

If you don’t want unnegociatable to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, human beings should have
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sense of altruism
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and put themselves in
others
Change noun form
others'
other's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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shoes. When someone is not
vaccined
Correct your spelling
vaccinated

If you don’t want vaccined to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

there could be a chance that a virus to be
Correct your spelling
spread
Correct your spelling
spread

If you don’t want spreaded to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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among
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, cities, and countries.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the COVID-19 virus had been
distrbuted
Correct your spelling
distributed

If you don’t want distrbuted to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

within a few months, and to stop that chain
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have
distence
Correct your spelling
distance

If you don’t want distence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and get the
vaccine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, I believe both sides have merits. On balance,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is my opinion that families must allow their minors to get the
vaccine
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because it cures many illnesses that in the past have killed
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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