IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

#years #phones #tool #lives
Some people are participating in sports when they are young but they stop it when they are
adults
 and why do
adults
 stop doing physical
exercise
? In my opinion, physical
exercises
 are very useful in our life and when we are involved in physical
exercises
 we are very strong and our body feels very nice. The young people always doing physical
exercises
, because, they want to strong very well as a sportsman. In that case, the
sport
 is a very popular thing in the world,
therefore
,all humans
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 physical
exercises
 every day. It is always the perfect
exercise
 for our body. Young men try to be strong when they are age.
That is
 why young people do physical
exercise
.
On the other hand
, the
adults
 want to do physical
exercise
 too, but they do not have enough time to do it ,because, they are working every day. In that case ,some
adults
 do physical
exercise
 because they try to do it and their work are not hard.
Furthermore
, the
adults
 need to do physical
exercise
 because they must become very strong in their age. The
sport
 is a very well type of rejuvenating.
Therefore
 , they always doing
sport
, they never aged.
For example
, one
person
 always doing physical
exercise
, he agonized at
first
 but he
subsequently
 learn to do it very easy and their body is very strong, the blood of him very fresh and
this
, the
person
 never filing. On the one hand, the
person
 who never did the
sport
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is very weak and he always filing or other things.
This
, a
person
 tries too hard when he is aged.
Therefore
, always do physical
exercises
. In conclusion, all of them are independent communities, because they need to find do physical activity and
moreover
, they always do sports they are never sick, they are never boring and they are never horrible. In that case , physical
exercise
 is a very useful thing and it may be the life of someone
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: