IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #advertisements #children #snacks #toys #goods #parents #ads
Many of the
parents
 believe that there has been an exponential increase in the
number
 of unfair
advertisements
 which attracts
children
 to purchase unwanted or expensive goods. Personally, I agree with both of them and the following paragraphs would highlight my perspective along with apt examples.
To begin
 with, a lot of multinational
companies
 spends more money morely on
advertisements
 to reach the targeted audience with having easy access to channels or mediums for
advertisements
such
 as television, the internet, social media platforms, etc.
Hence
 there has been a drastic increase in the
number
 of
advertisements
 with no consideration of damaging the societies, spoiling the
children
 and pressure on the
parents
 in terms of financial circumstances. For eg. social platforms like Facebook which has many users who are highly targeted by displaying selective ads using artificial intelligence.
Moreover
, today's generation of
children
 are highly addicted to the internet or smartphones and are more vulnerable to cosy products coming from
advertisements
 banners or sites. At the same time, most
companies
 require to reach out to the targeted audience to sell their products and
this
 won't be possible without
advertisements
 and marketing. To increase sales and survive in a competitive market, they use ads as a medium for promoting their products and creating brands out of them.
Therefore
, many
companies
 have increased placing a
number
 of
advertisements
 in order to get more business. To conclude with, there are equally advantages and disadvantages of an increasing
number
 of
advertisements
 benefiting the
companies
 in terms of marketing and easily avail of required good for
children
 and
parents
.
Consequently
, it is
also
 harming the
parents
 financially and
children
 mentally and socially.
Submitted by nyalapellinavin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: