many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Nowadays, numerous individuals spend too much
time
in their workplace Use synonyms
instead
of having fun or relaxation. I wholeheartedly believe that the drawbacks of Linking Words
this
matter are beyond its benefits. Linking Words
And in
Correct word choice
In
this
essay, I will explain some of these advantages and disadvantages.
The main disadvantage of people spending too many hours working is that after some years they will experience stress and depression. Because when individuals work more than average hours per day, they do not have adequate duration to play sports or go to parks or parties. Linking Words
Thus
, some chemical substances and hormones released during the happiness period will Linking Words
reduce
. Wrong verb form
be reduced
As a result
, in the long- term people start to feel depressed. Linking Words
For example
, studies show that by doing sports for around 6 hours per week we can control our stress and depression.
Linking Words
In addition
, being occupied with a job more than normal Linking Words
time
causes loneliness. Since people have no Use synonyms
time
for their families and friends, they become alone. Use synonyms
Hence
, they will lose their relationships and connections gradually. Linking Words
For instance
, when we have a serious problem, speaking with a friend perhaps will be a viable solution. And help us to face our problems.
Despite the drawbacks mentioned, there are a few advantages to working a lot. Folks spending Linking Words
time
on their projects or their jobs have more chances to get promoted. Owing to their hard effort, they gain a better position. To illustrate, by a strenuous endeavour in a company a person has a higher chance to become a boss or manager. But in my view, Use synonyms
this
is futile and having fun is more worthwhile and beneficial for humans.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
there are better positions for folks spending too much moment on their jobs, having fun and doing sports play a crucial role in our lives. In my opinion, Linking Words
this
issue has more negative points.Linking Words
Submitted by nibbana333 on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
The essay shows good organization and coherence, but ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the previous one, and that ideas are linked clearly within and between sentences.
lexical resource
Enhance the variety of vocabulary used and pay attention to word choice to more precisely express ideas.
grammatical range
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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...