Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature

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Nowadays, In the world of

fastest-growing

Correct article usage

the fastest-growing

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technology, poor

people

Use synonyms

are getting poorer and the rich are becoming

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

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richer day by day. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that poverty, unemployment and other social problems are the reasons for most crimes. Many

people

Use synonyms

from the other corners think that they are the

results

Fix the agreement mistake

result

show examples

of the bad

nature

Use synonyms

of the

people

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. I Stand with the former view but we will discuss both views.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some crimes have been committed because of the environment and background in which a person has grown up. Sometimes some offences take place to satisfy one person's ego.

For example

Linking Words

, Recently there are

lots

Correct quantifier usage

lot

show examples

of news we are hearing every day around the world that a boy has killed a girl because she is not interested in him

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

which hurts his ego and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

ruins his

as well as

Linking Words

a girl's life and

that is

Linking Words

at a very young age.

However

Linking Words

, No

people

Use synonyms

are born with a bad

nature

Use synonyms

but the circumstances and background in which he or she born and brought up make them bad.

For example

Linking Words

, In recent times gender equality

Verb problem

has

show examples

becoming

Wrong verb form

become

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a hot topic; if a child is raised seeing his father always underestimates his mother and never gives her importance,

then

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

learns the same thing and he is never going to understand gender equality. So,

this

Linking Words

is not because of the bad

nature

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but because of the

surroundings

Add a comma

surroundings,

show examples

most

people

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learn crimes.

To sum up

Linking Words

, we shouldn't allege someone that because of their bad

Use synonyms

nature

Add a comma

nature,

show examples

they are ending up with some crime. There are always some surroundings and circumstances, which cause

people

Use synonyms

to commit a crime.

Submitted by snehaldesai05 on Mon Feb 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the points being made, and that they are presented in a clear and logical manner. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Address all aspects of the given topic, providing a clear and comprehensive response to both views presented. Include specific and well-developed examples to support the arguments made.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating more precise and diverse lexical choices to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

grammatical range

Maintain grammatical accuracy and precision throughout the essay. Be mindful of sentence structures and ensure that they are varied and effectively used to convey the intended meaning.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic circumstances
poverty
lack of education
unemployment
illegal activities
desperation
social issues
exposure to violence
family structures
inherent
personality traits
lack of empathy
aggression
predilection for risk-taking
affluent backgrounds

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government should spend more money on recreation rather than education.do you agree or disagree

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others thinks face to face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.