IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #media #privacy #price #fame #invasion #life
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Being famous is
certainly
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a certainly
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pleasing
Correct article usage
a pleasing
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 thing,
however
Linking Words
, it has been noticed that sometimes popular persons are being treated unfairly,
specially
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especially
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, in their private
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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. In my opinion, while they deserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
privacy
Use synonyms
, somewhere they have to pay the price for being famous. Though
,
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apply
show examples
 observing
privacy
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 is a constitutional right for everyone, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of celebrities, it has been not followed religiously. Because print media publishes everything about their personal life, it hardly remains private.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, media houses tweak the truths for their own benefits which may convey the wrong image of the role model to the public.
For example
Linking Words
, publications had printed
many
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much
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 personal information about Mr Amitabh Bacchan's family disputes; due to which their friend following
loose
Replace the word
lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
faith in them.
Hence
Linking Words
, they should be given some
privacy
Use synonyms
 in their personal affairs. On the flip side, fame comes with
price
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a price
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 to pay. While they enjoy the perks of popularity, they have to pay the price with their
privacy
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. Public figures always prefer to remain in
limelight
Correct article usage
the limelight
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 and centre of attraction in the eyes of their audience due to which they are being followed by
camaras
Correct your spelling
cameras
 which leads them to capture each and everything;
hence
Linking Words
, nothing remains private, regardless of their wish. To exemplify, when any film star visits any party, the page three party reporter captures their photos of their grand entry along with whole coverage of
behind-the-scenes
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the behind-the-scenes
a behind-the-scenes
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story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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 and dirty secrets. In my opinion, most popular persons are contributing hard in their fields to achieve their position. While media is necessary to cover their success and make them reach to public, they must
also
Linking Words
 respect their
privacy
Use synonyms
. Once should play
diligent
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a diligent
the diligent
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 role on what to display and what not to.
Submitted by hvyas on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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