Many children nowadays are spending more and more time inside rather than outside. Is this a positive or negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your knowledge or experience

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It is often said that these days many children prefer to spend time in their own accommodation

instead

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of going out. From my point of view ,it can be a negative trend. I'm going to explain some reasons below.

Firstly

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, one of the main reasons for

this

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argument is becoming isolated.

For example

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,in most countries all around the world where we can see

high_quality

Correct your spelling

high-quality

technological gadgets ,children are spending a lot of time playing video games

as well as

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watching their favourite programmes on TV. Needless to say ,

this

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situation could create many problems

such

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as the lack of communication with other people.

Additionally

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,to stay at home scions will suffer from some mental disorders.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear why it could have a deep detrimental impact on the public.

Secondly

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,another reason is becoming

disabled

Correct word choice

unable

show examples

to build a good relationship with others.

For instance

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,someone who spent noteworthy moments at home during his childhood will face multiple troubles to enter society.

Moreover

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,creating interaction with his classmates and colleagues will be difficult. These causes can persuade the population who live in the world to stop

consuming

Verb problem

spending

show examples

moments indoors always. Opening the doors and watching the world can help to have an extrovert personality and using imagination can be more effortless.

As a result

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,it becomes apparent there are numerous reasons behind each claim that we can not ignore. To summarise , I personally believe spending time at home can be harmful to a child. It is predicted that to continue

this

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activity by offspring they will

be faced

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

many physical and psychological problems in the near future.

maede.sadeghi8520Mon Feb 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to clearly state the stance on whether the trend is positive or negative.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons provided to further support the argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Many children nowadays are spending more and more time inside rather than outside. Is this a positive or negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your knowledge or experience

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading paper materials is better than watching electronic devices to gain information. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to the younger). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?