The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on the other planets.some people think that it is wastage of money and government should spend more money on addressing the problems of public.To what extent do you agree?

Some argue that the government is wasting
money
to discover
life
outside Earth and the
money
should be spent on solving
problems
in the society
instead
. I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that as there are no significant discoveries despite the never-ending increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
budget, and there are more urgent matters in our communities, I totally agree the state should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
addressing social
problems
instead
of discovering the unknown. First and foremost,
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
needed for researching on the other planets keeps on growing into an
astronomic
Replace the word
astronomical
show examples
number, and yet there are no concrete results. Mankind
have
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has
show examples
already sent dozens of
spacecrafts
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
and
satelites
Correct your spelling
satellites
into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space over the decades. Most planets in the solar system have been observed
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
, yet no
life
was discovered. Research conducted by NASA predicted that in order to collect data from other planets outside the solar system, the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
developing high-tech
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
will be ten times to a hundred times more. As there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
no concrete
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
that outer
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
exist,
further
investment
on researching
Change preposition
in research
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will just be a waste of
money
.
Moreover
, there are more urgent issues in our society that affect millions of people. A lot of social
problems
arise from the modern development of the world, and it becomes more and more serious throughout the years.
For example
, the unemployment rate in Japan has reached an all-time peak in recent years, which decreased the
life
quality of the citizens. If the government can put more
money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals in need,
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
millions of people can be improved instantly and effectively. In conclusion, as the cost continues to increase for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research with no concrete results, and the
problems
of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
more and more serious nowadays, I strongly agree that it is a waste of
money
to discover
life
outside Earth and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
more
money
on social
problems
instead
.
Submitted by jackcityone on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and avoid general statements without concrete examples or specific support.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a logical sequence, using appropriate transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are crucial. Make sure they clearly present the topic and your position, and they reflect each other in terms of the arguments provided.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you address the prompt directly and explore both the reasons for your opinion and the implications of this opinion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully by including more detailed, specific examples to illustrate your points and by explaining the implications of these points.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments and to demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific advancement
  • technological developments
  • understanding of Earth
  • environmental protection
  • disaster prediction
  • inspiring young people
  • pressing issues
  • finite budgets
  • critical infrastructures
  • social programs
  • extraterrestrial life
  • urgent human needs
  • global crises
  • international collaboration
  • global unity
  • divert funds
  • urgent quest
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