The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on the other planets.some people think that it is wastage of money and government should spend more money on addressing the problems of public.To what extent do you agree?
Some argue that the government is wasting
money
to discover life
outside Earth and the money
should be spent on solving problems
in the society instead
. I believed
that as there are no significant discoveries despite the never-ending increase Wrong verb form
believe
of
budget, and there are more urgent matters in our communities, I totally agree the state should invest more Change preposition
in
on
addressing social Change preposition
in
problems
instead
of discovering the unknown.
First and foremost, money
needed for researching on the other planets keeps on growing into an Add an article
the money
astronomic
number, and yet there are no concrete results. Mankind Replace the word
astronomical
have
already sent dozens of Change the verb form
has
spacecrafts
and Correct your spelling
spacecraft
satelites
into Correct your spelling
satellites
the
space over the decades. Most planets in the solar system have been observed Correct article usage
apply
throughly
, yet no Correct your spelling
thoroughly
life
was discovered. Research conducted by NASA predicted that in order to collect data from other planets outside the solar system, the cost for
developing high-tech Change preposition
of
equipments
will be ten times to a hundred times more. As there Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
are
no concrete Correct subject-verb agreement
is
evidences
that outer Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
lifes
exist, Correct your spelling
lives
further
investment on researching
Change preposition
in research
that
will just be a waste of Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
.
Moreover
, there are more urgent issues in our society that affect millions of people. A lot of social problems
arise from the modern development of the world, and it becomes more and more serious throughout the years. For example
, the unemployment rate in Japan has reached an all-time peak in recent years, which decreased the life
quality of the citizens. If the government can put more money
in
Change preposition
into
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
aids
for Fix the agreement mistake
aid
the
individuals in need, Correct article usage
apply
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
for
millions of people can be improved instantly and effectively.
In conclusion, as the cost continues to increase for Change preposition
of
a
research with no concrete results, and the Remove the article
apply
problems
of public
Add an article
the public
becomes
more and more serious nowadays, I strongly agree that it is a waste of Correct subject-verb agreement
become
money
to discover life
outside Earth and government
should Correct article usage
the government
spent
more Change the verb form
spend
money
on social problems
instead
.Submitted by jackcityone on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and avoid general statements without concrete examples or specific support.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a logical sequence, using appropriate transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are crucial. Make sure they clearly present the topic and your position, and they reflect each other in terms of the arguments provided.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure you address the prompt directly and explore both the reasons for your opinion and the implications of this opinion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully by including more detailed, specific examples to illustrate your points and by explaining the implications of these points.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments and to demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!