Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Reduction in packing is a hot topic today. In
this
essay, both convincing arguments will be discussed. I would like to shed light on
this
matter with supporting statements and
finally
, my opinion will be given. Some people believe that the
products
should be sold less packaged by the manufacturers and shopping malls.
According to
this
statement, it is indisputably true because it will be one of the control methods to minimize many kinds of packing if the factories and suppliers manage it. To cite an instance, many researchers are pointing out that a lot of wastes
such
as plastic, paper and other materials concerning
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
covering
products
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come out by the primary level of production and selling process.
Moreover
, the shopping centres and producers are spending more on packing as decoration and they intend to attract the eye sights of shoppers and buyers.
Therefore
, it included unnecessary coverages that lead to an impact on the environment.
On the other hand
, some
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
show examples
that people should acquire fewer packaged
products
is their responsibility. Consumers should be more prioritised on the quality of goods than packing.
Furthermore
, reducing needless packaging on each one and using recycled is the best way to take responsibility by individual to protect our environment. It is clearly seen that a way of decreasing in packaged. After thoroughly delving into the subject, I have come to the conclusion that less packing in selling or buying
products
is a duty for not only the public but
also
the government. In my perspective, each person should take care of it and the government
also
set a strict regulation for ecology.
Submitted by nwayun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Your introduction did a great job of presenting the topic and indicating that you would discuss both views and give your own opinion. However, for a stronger start, you could briefly mention the arguments for each view.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion. To elevate your response, consider incorporating more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have successfully structured your essay with a logical flow, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Structure
You've effectively presented an introduction, body paragraphs for both viewpoints, and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-organized essay.
Understanding the Task
You've shown an understanding of the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion, which is a core requirement of the question prompt.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively sums up the discussion and reaffirms your personal stance, demonstrating good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: