IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that a person’s success is as a direct result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #success #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Based on the claim of some folks,individuals' prosperity in the future is completely dependent on the approaches that they have been reared by their guardians,While the opponents point out to some other participations,which in some occasions conquer the elderly's influence.
However
Linking Words
,in my point of view,whereas parents' role is a significant contributor,other reasons should not be ignored.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some of them are uttered here. AS one of the strongest resources to affect the characters of juveniles, the internet is conducting their personalities.Not only the structure of their mindset about accepted behaviour would be collapsed but
also
Linking Words
 some unpolite treatments would be instructed to them in the virtual world if they are exposed to detrimental data
that is
Linking Words
 released there.As a vivid case,getting addicted to drugs or even alcohol has increased drastically in the recent decade, as an offspring of released images or movies on the internet,based on the news. The other worth mentioning factor regarding surrounding friends.Owing to the mutual prospect that youngsters have about the globe,they would be absorbed in each other easier.To enlighten,toddlers usually mimic and pursue the activity of the other babies rather than paying attention to their guardians' requests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the talents of humans somehow determine their eventual route.Either their weaknesses or their genius prevents or encourage them to follow a special way.
Although
Linking Words
 used to the young mostly continue the profession of their families as an heirloom,nowadays,due to the provided infrastructures,
such
Linking Words
 as training courses,it is feasible for them to draw an ambition for themselves without others' interfere.
For instance
Linking Words
,there are multitudes of doctors, whose fathers were labours. To recapitulate,the fate of folks is interwoven with their decisions,which is an offspring of various contributors,
such
Linking Words
 as connected palls or even the penetration of the internet.Whereas,some populations believe in the old as the just and main orienting radix.To me,a mixture of these reasons will build the future of the young.
Submitted by drpnima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: