IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that children should follow their parent’s advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parent’s #advice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It Has been widely discussed if younger should obey their parent´s guidance,
nonetheless
, others think different. My opinion is that the benefits of
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 the
parents
’ instruction are biggest than the disadvantages. On the one hand, when
parents
 give any
advice
 or guide to their sons, they always are searching
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 child´s wellbeing and security, in
another words
Replace the adjective
another word
other words
show examples
,
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 these instructions is an excellent opportunity for children to reaffirm affective bonds whit their
parents
, improving their process to make good decision and choice, and receive feedback of their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. It is
also
 important to mention that the
parents
 have more life´s experience and even their have more knowledge about their own sons,
therefore
, their guidance should be more appropriate for the emotional and affecting development in the childhood and adolescence.
For example
,
parents
 can give more significant and proper
advice
 about relationships and sexuality, and they can provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
suitable guidance for their teen, much better than
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 or
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
fiends
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
. On the other side, over-emphasis given to parental
advice
 may generate that the kids
do not learn nothing
Rewrite the sentence
do not learn anything
learn nothing
show examples
 about their mistakes and even they can
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
 an overdependent. To explain,
such
 children might lack independent character and they may struggle to make essential decisions in their life or have serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their autonomy.
This
 would have a detrimental impact on their life.
For instance
, a study shows that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high-school children
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 that they are not capable to make
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 or important
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 in their life. To conclude, exist different
argues
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
 about the benefits and drawbacks of
follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 or not the parental suggestions,
however
, I strongly believe
that is
 essential for the holistic development of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
set
Change noun form
set's
show examples
 attention to
this
advice
.
Submitted by betsiecarmen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: