IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that modern inventions bring problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of five kinds of transportation which was used by society over a twenty-five-
year
 period between 1990 and 2015. Overall, it can be seen that the
number
 of
car
 and
train
users
 showed the same
trend
 as well as the
usage
 of bus and
train
 transportation.
However
, the former demonstrated an increasing style, and the letter experienced an inclining
trend
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the rising
usage
, both figures depicted
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 different
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
. In comparison with
train
,
car
users
 stood at just over 50 which means that it was higher than the
usage
 of
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
 in the
first
 period. Following
this
, the
number
 of
train
users
 witnessed a growth by above a half since the
car
usage
 decreased slightly to 50. That means that the change of
train
 was more significant than that of automobile transportation.
Subsequently
, the
train
users
 jumped to over 90
exceeded
Wrong verb form
exceeding
show examples
 the
number
 of
car
users
 in the
last
year
. Starting to the falling
trend
, even though the
usage
 of bus declined over the period, it was higher than bicycle
users
 until the
last
year
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
first
year
, the
number
 of people employed
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 bus was just above 70 followed by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fluctuated
trend
 until the
last
year
 which stood at 55. Bicycle
users
 showed the fluctuated
trend
 as well, starting at around 31 before slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 to under 40.
This
 figure
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 to
tiny
Correct article usage
a tiny
show examples
 proportion, at 15
users
.
However
, the steady style highlighted in the way of walking, the fluctuated
trend
 experienced at under 10.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: