IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that modern inventions bring problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of five kinds of transportation which was used by society over a twenty-five-
year
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 period between 1990 and 2015. Overall, it can be seen that the
number
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 of
car
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 and
train
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users
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 showed the same
trend
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 as well as the
usage
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 of bus and
train
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 transportation.
However
Linking Words
, the former demonstrated an increasing style, and the letter experienced an inclining
trend
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. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the rising
usage
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, both figures depicted
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 different
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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. In comparison with
train
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,
car
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users
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 stood at just over 50 which means that it was higher than the
usage
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 of
Use synonyms
train
Add an article
the train
a train
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 in the
first
Linking Words
 period. Following
this
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
train
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users
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 witnessed a growth by above a half since the
car
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 decreased slightly to 50. That means that the change of
train
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 was more significant than that of automobile transportation.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
train
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users
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 jumped to over 90
exceeded
Wrong verb form
exceeding
show examples
 the
number
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 of
car
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users
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 in the
last
Linking Words
year
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. Starting to the falling
trend
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, even though the
usage
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 of bus declined over the period, it was higher than bicycle
users
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 until the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
first
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, the
number
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 of people employed
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 bus was just above 70 followed by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fluctuated
trend
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 until the
last
Linking Words
year
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 which stood at 55. Bicycle
users
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 showed the fluctuated
trend
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 as well, starting at around 31 before slightly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 to under 40.
This
Linking Words
 figure
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
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 to
tiny
Correct article usage
a tiny
show examples
 proportion, at 15
users
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.
However
Linking Words
, the steady style highlighted in the way of walking, the fluctuated
trend
Use synonyms
 experienced at under 10.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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