3. many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Nowadays, a lot of individuals are spending, the employees are dedicating their valuable period for their organization to complete the given task within the allocated schedule. Which will
the
more Correct article usage
apply
time
for
their professional careers, the Change preposition
on
lesser
Correct word choice
less
time
for
sports or social services. Which will result in several health and mental Change preposition
on
illness
. Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
This
essay will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
, the overtime time
will benefit for financial stabiles within a short span period at the workplace. This
will not only impact financial
but Replace the word
finances
also
able
to get promotions as soon as possible. MostCorrect word choice
enable you
Change preposition
of
claim
to develop their company in a competitive industry.
Verb problem
help
Conversely
, the employer will look into long-term performance rather than how long will work per day. If workers have not been able to perform well due to
health issues, management will terminate them or de-promote them from their current positions because of excessive young talents
. Fix the agreement mistake
talent
This
is called smart work is the key to success for
the modern world rather than hard work. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, the staff will be affected mentally because they may isolate
from their family, friends and daily life cycle. Once they have Wrong verb form
be isolated
been
felt loneliness, Unnecessary verb
apply
thereafter
it will impact them psychologically. On the other hand
, physical exercise is more important to keep everyone healthy and fresh although
blood circulation, sweating
are dynamic factors Correct word choice
and sweating
to run
our Change preposition
in running
day to day
movements Add a hyphen
day-to-day
otherwise
we will not get self-motivate from our inner mind
. In my personal life, I have been actively working weekly Fix the agreement mistake
minds
five
days and Change preposition
for five
also
monthly once going to a new place with my neighbours which are
impacting me to love myself.
Taking into consideration, each person should spend sufficient Correct subject-verb agreement
is
time
for non-job-related activities such
as volunttinee
for social services, physical exercise, spending sufficient Correct your spelling
volunteering
time
with family and friends and
etc.Correct word choice
apply
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present with a clear position on the essay question. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting both advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. However, the ideas are not consistently developed and lack clear support from examples. Focus on providing a more comprehensive response to the task and use specific examples to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.