3. many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, a lot of individuals are spending,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their professional careers, the
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
sports or social services. Which will result in several health and mental
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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.
This
Linking Words
essay will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
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, the overtime
time
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will benefit for financial stabiles within a short span period at the workplace.
This
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will not only impact
financial
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finances
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but
also
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able
Correct word choice
enable you
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to get promotions as soon as possible. Most
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of
show examples
the employees are dedicating their valuable period for their organization to complete the given task within the allocated schedule. Which will
claim
Verb problem
help
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to develop their company in a competitive industry.
Conversely
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, the employer will look into long-term performance rather than how long will work per day. If workers have not been able to perform well
due to
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health issues, management will terminate them or de-promote them from their current positions because of excessive young
talents
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talent
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.
This
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is called smart work is the key to success
for
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in
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the modern world rather than hard work.
Moreover
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, the staff will be affected mentally because they may
isolate
Wrong verb form
be isolated
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from their family, friends and daily life cycle. Once they have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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felt loneliness,
thereafter
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it will impact them psychologically.
On the other hand
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, physical exercise is more important to keep everyone healthy and fresh
although
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blood circulation,
sweating
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and sweating
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are dynamic factors
to run
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in running
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our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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movements
otherwise
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we will not get self-motivate from our inner
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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. In my personal life, I have been actively working weekly
five
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for five
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days and
also
Linking Words
monthly once going to a new place with my neighbours which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
impacting me to love myself. Taking into consideration, each person should spend sufficient
time
Use synonyms
for non-job-related activities
such
Linking Words
as
volunttinee
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volunteering
for social services, physical exercise, spending sufficient
time
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with family and friends
and
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apply
show examples
etc.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present with a clear position on the essay question. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting both advantages and disadvantages of working long hours. However, the ideas are not consistently developed and lack clear support from examples. Focus on providing a more comprehensive response to the task and use specific examples to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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