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Band 5

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree? N.B: Reported on IELTS January 17th

#governments #citizen #income #money #n #b #ielts #january
The inhabitants of the cities should be provided sufficiency by the
government
 for their living needs,
also
 it is
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
people
 who are facing unemployment in order to survive.I do not completely disagree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 point.
Firstly
, nowadays unemployment is so common among most
people
 which leads
Change preposition
to difficult
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
 to live on. So
people
 should be given livelihood by the
government
. I find it is one of the responsibilities of the
government
. Because the authorities have to protect their inhabitants. In turn, giving sufficient money to
people
 who has a need, can avoid starvation among the poor.
Besides
 that,
this
 method can create
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 feelings,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 if the locals feel safe and they are supported by the country, they will have more tendency of
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 to it.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 there will be an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of patriots.
On the contrary
, every person has to try hard for himself even it is challenging , he never ought to
wait
Add the preposition
forwait
show examples
 someone's support or help. All should find
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 if they are unemployed and work hard for their life
necissities
Correct your spelling
necessities
. Because waiting someone's support can cause less activeness or
people
 have no efficiency
instead
 of working
consequently
 it may be impossible to have an improvement.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it has an influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
 because of less
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force. . In conclusion, providing
people
 with
basic
Add an article
a basic
show examples
 income to survive especially those in need, is one of the responsibilities of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it should be moderation and it should not lead
any
Change preposition
to any
show examples
 catastrophic consequences.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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