the charts show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
The first
graph
indicates how many households had
used washing machines, refrigerators and vacuum cleaners in one country from 1920 to 2019. The Unnecessary verb
apply
second
chart shows how many times people
do the house chores per week in one country between 1920 and 2019.
It is clear that
the washing machine was the most famous in 1920. In contrast
, refrigerators didn't use by people
in 1920. Each figure is 40% and almost 0%, respectively. On the other hand
, the refrigerator increased radically between 1920 and 1960. Remarkably, 90% of the
Correct article usage
apply
people
used refrigerator
in 1960, it is Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
the
very dramatic Correct article usage
a
changes
compared Fix the agreement mistake
change
other
electrical Change preposition
to other
machines
growth.
Vacuum Change noun form
machines'
machine's
cleaner
had risen consistently between 1920 and 2019. It had grown at the same rate annually from 1920 to 1980. Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
Also
, it arrived at a peak in 2000, which is similar to the graph
of the refrigerator that reached 100%. However
, the graph
of
washing Change preposition
for
machine
increased inconsistently, it decreased slightly between 1960 and 1980. Fix the agreement mistake
machines
On the other hand
, it rose again after 1980, but it couldn't catch another graph
. Lastly
, the chart of the amount of time spent doing housework in households shows a falling graph
stably between 1920 and 2019.
Overall
, the use of three electrical appliances had grown from 1920 to 2019 even though three
Correct article usage
the three
graph
shows different changing forms. Plus, it is clear that
the more people
use house chores machines, the more people
do not spend their time doing housework. In conclusion, there is a relation between the first graph
and the second
graph
.Submitted by leeyubin6320 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that, on the other hand, second".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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