Some people believe that work is what adds meaning to our existence. Others, however, argue that work distracts us from what is truly meaningful and worthwhile in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
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some argue that occupation is essential for leading a purposeful
life
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, others consider it as a barrier to deeper fulfilment. In my opinion,
although
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the right career can help
individuals
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reveal their talents and bring meaning to their lives,
this
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is true provided that
work
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is viewed as a means to achieve greater goals, not the ultimate purpose of
life
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. On the one hand,
work
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is often seen as a means to achieve meaning in
life
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.
Firstly
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, it fulfils basic human needs, allowing
individuals
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to focus on higher goals.
For example
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, a working person is less burdened by financial concerns than someone unemployed, giving them more energy and time to pursue personal aspirations.
Secondly
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,
work
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enables
individuals
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to develop their skills, uncover their talents, and identify their
life
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goals.
For instance
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, a farmer may realize their contribution to society by providing food and nutrition through agriculture.
On the other hand
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, some believe that
work
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can distract
individuals
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from leading a truly meaningful
life
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. The competitive nature of the working world often pressures people to prioritize financial success over personal values.
Additionally
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, long working hours may leave little time for self-improvement, relationships, or community involvement, which are vital for cultivating a fulfilling
life
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.
This
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imbalance can lead to burnout and a sense of dissatisfaction, ultimately diminishing the
overall
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quality of
life
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and hindering the pursuit of deeper meaning. In my view, both perspectives hold merit.
While
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work
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is crucial for financial stability and self-discovery,
individuals
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must choose careers that align with their talents and values.
Moreover
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, balancing
work
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with other aspects of
life
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,
such
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as volunteering and personal growth, is key to living a meaningful
life
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. In conclusion, engagement in valuable works is indispensable for personal and societal progress. A well-chosen career not only supports financial needs but
also
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allows
individuals
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to make meaningful contributions and discover their true potential.
Submitted by skharratian on

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coherence cohesion
Continue to use clear topic sentences for each main paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. This will help maintain a strong logical structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider incorporating more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This could further substantiate your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each example directly supports the point it is intended to illustrate, as this will strengthen your coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
Comprehensive ideas are presented, addressing both views of the topic with balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay covers a full response to the prompt, exploring both perspectives and providing the writer's own opinion.
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