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Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

#students #study #colleges #universities #country
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Many
students
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 go overseas to study at colleges or universities in
this
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 day and age. People have different opinions on whether or not studying abroad is beneficial. While some assert that studying in other countries has drawbacks, I strongly believe that advantages outweigh disadvantages. On the one hand, some argue that people who study overseas can be a burden on their
parents
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 as it costs a great deal of money. Since
parents
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 have to pay for children’s living
such
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 as accommodation fees, school tuition fees and transportation fares, they have to work hard.
For example
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, in Korea, not only can an excessive amount of work for
parents
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 who support their children
causes
Change the verb form
cause
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 a lack of rest, but it may
also
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 bring about health problems
such
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 as stress, leading to
burn-out
Add an article
the burn-out
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 syndrome.
Therefore
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, they lose their own lives and health, but they just dedicate their time and energy to supporting their children.
On the other hand
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, once
students
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 graduate high education from other countries, it can be a key factor in having the chances of better job opportunities. It is generally acknowledged that owing to globalization, the majority of companies want people who know other cultures and languages well.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Korea occupation Foundation has revealed that almost 30% of companies prefer to recruit employees who have studied abroad.
Therefore
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, studying abroad contribute to having well-paid jobs among
students
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. In conclusion, while I accept that studying overseas sometimes be rather stressful for
parents
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, I would point out that it might provide a better future for children.
However
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, I recommend that
students
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 should do
part time
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part-time
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 jobs to reduce
parents
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’ burden.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • exposure
  • diverse
  • perspectives
  • language skills
  • job prospects
  • adapting
  • environment
  • financial considerations
  • costs
  • homesickness
  • social isolation
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