IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money, government must investment this money in public services. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theater #waste #money #services
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Art is not a new thing for humans, a long time ago, ancestors use
this
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 in the form of music and painting to describe spiritual connection but nowadays, it become a source of income and the
government
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 invest to promote arts is a waste of taxes and others think to invest in public
sectors
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. I fully accord with
this
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 notion because in public
services
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such
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 as hospitals,
education
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, and many other
sectors
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 which need improvement from the
government
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. Manifold reasons behind the support in the
government
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 only invest in public
services
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 and one of the factors is that health
services
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 should need an improvement in owning to
this
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 many
people
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 are suffering from various kinds of disease and
treatment
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 of
this
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 is costly for
people
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that is
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 why the
government
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 should make a budget to provide free medicine and low-cost
treatment
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.
For example
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, in India, the health sector is good for those
people
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 who have wealth but for the middle class and poor
people
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 need
treatment
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 from the
government
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 sector; while
government
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 hospital condition is quite low as compared to private ones and
therefore
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 the authorities should invest in the
government
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 hospital so that needy
people
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 take
treatment
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.
Moreover
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, the
services
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 like community
services
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,
education
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, traffic and road safety, and many more
sectors
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 need the
government
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 attention, whereas in the
education
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 system every colleges and university offer art subject to the student and the authority does not need to spend some extra money on
this
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 because art form talent does not need any
education
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, its from inner ability.
Further
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, traffic congestion is a problem in many developed nations and the
government
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 should build some roads and bridges to resolve
this
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 problem. To conclude, investment is something that helps to grow and make a profit for the public as well
government
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 and the
sectors
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 which offer
services
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 to local residents need an investment from the
government
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.
Submitted by rayatsahil7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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