IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that there is no need for an advertisement for a product with high quality, while others believe an advertisement is necessary for any product, even for high-quality products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there is high competition between
products
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. Every product has more than one company that organizes it, and customers have more options to decide which ones are suitable for them. In my opinion, I believe that in the beginning, all
products
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 need an advertisement to present their
products
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. Once their
products
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 become well-known,
companies
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 are able to decrease the budget for advertising.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of using
advertisements
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, many
companies
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 will hire representatives to present their
products
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.
Due to
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 high competition in many businesses,
advertisements
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 are the most significant tool to launch new
products
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. In Thailand, there are a lot of
advertisements
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 that are creative and unique. They influence
people
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 to know about
products
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 and remember them when they need to buy them. Some
advertisements
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 were really particular in the past and impressed
people
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 to make decisions.
On the other hand
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, after
products
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 become well-known and their customers are stable, many
companies
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 reduce their advertising budget.
Instead
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, they may hire representatives to present their
products
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. A fan of a product or a representative will buy the product themselves. Fans of
products
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 are able to be curious about unseen
products
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 and may buy them,
while
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 fans of representatives will buy because they want to support their artists. In conclusion, all
products
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 once need an advertisement to introduce them to
people
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 and help them get used to their goals. When they become successful with their targets, many
companies
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 will turn from creating
advertisements
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 to hiring presenters
instead
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. In the future, I believe that
advertisements
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 will still be significant for most
products
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due to
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 high competition between markets, and
people
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 will have more options to select the
products
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.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Clarify the main points further by expanding each argument to achieve better clarity.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as those from Thailand, are used to support points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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