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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue
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Some part of society believes that using
culture
 to attract the visitor may lead to the devastation of
culture
,
although
, some others argued that, the tourism industry could be the only action to look after the civilization which I completely agree with the
second
 group of people. On the one hand, we have some groups of the public who believe in cultural manipulation by tourists,
such
 as, the visitors may devast the public laws because they are lack information about the
country
 rules so, it brings disorders all over the province.
Moreover
, their belief is, when various kinds of the public from all over the world come to the
country
 it may affect the
country
's
culture
 due to different kinds of the public with different cultures coming and altering the
country
's
culture
.
On the other hand
, other groups of people think about the tourism industry as the only action that looks after the
culture
 which I totally agree with. In my point of view, the best way of cultural protection is to spread it all over the world that visitors does
this
 easily. They come, observe, investigate and go back and share their experiences.
Furthermore
, by the
earns
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
 from tourists, the government could allocate all the revenue to enhance the civilization. In
this
 procedure more public tend to visit the
country
, so, the civilization spread all over the world. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that may some people argued the disadvantages of tourism, it is crystal clear that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by amirhossein_400 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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