IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas
The rise in living standards in the countries is developing day by day is growing.
This
 is will not benefit only rural areas but
also
cities
.
This
 can cause any problem but there are many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to reduce it. Nowadays, more attention is paid to
cities
 than
rural
Add an article
a rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Due to people from abroad
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
cities
, not villages. It is
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
 that increasing living standard in a country seems to be more substantial for
cities
 rather than non-urban areas.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 many rural residents have to move to
cities
. In these
cities
Add a comma
,cities
show examples
 industrial construction
is being create
Change the verb form
is being created
is creating
show examples
 for new jobs and
as a result
, it is providing employment to many rural resident villagers. So the number of people in
this
 city will
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
show examples
 and people will need a place to live.
As a result
, new housing will be built. Industrial construction is lead to growth and it helps for
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of the
cities
.
Therefore
, attention to the village is declining and lifestyle growth of the village is
decrising
Correct your spelling
decreasing
describing
. In conclusion,
this
 situation can put residents at some disadvantages,
however
, I believe a number of solutions can address them.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: