IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think money is the best gift to give youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #money #gift #youngsters
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently there is multiple choices of gifts that can replace cash
money
that is
 usually appreciated by the recipients.
This
 essay will discuss both views and my point of view which is more agreeable for the
gift
 otherness
Money
. From one side, the idea of giving
money
 to teenagers is smart and dangerous at the same time. It is a Smart thought because it will teach the youngsters the value of
money
 and the importance to have it from the correct personnel
such
 as the family member on a special occasion only, as a birthday
gift
, which will allow them to buy what they need without asking for.
However
, it can have a negative impact if we take into consideration that it might be a source to buy illegal things,
such
 as alcohol, drugs, and forbidden materials. Form the other side, some people are privilege a non-material
gift
 for the youngest one because it is more attractive and have an emotional impact. As approved by the
last
 study in the university of Harvard: they said that students who received a
gift
 for their birthday can keep it in their room for more than 5 years, and they have an excellent memory for the different events during their life,
also
 they have an important self-confidence, versus the students who received
money
 as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 award, they forget the moment and the giveaway and they remember rarely some information about the past and the divers' events in their lives.
Therefore
, I agree with
this
 viewpoint. In conclusion,
although
 the
money
 would help the youths meet their immediate needs, I believe that in the long-run, educational grants are the best gifts.
Therefore
, contributions a self-confidence should be encouraged and prioritized.
Submitted by aitmimi.hamsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: