Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages of this practice outweigh the disadvantages?

Many parents push their
children
to obtain part-
time
employment during their spare
time
. In
this
essay, I will explain why the benefits of
children
holding a part-
time
job
overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, getting involved in part-
time
employment could pose two challenges to
children
.
Firstly
, it might distract them from their academic life as they usually get overwhelmed with their
job
responsibilities. To illustrate, in the face of a heavy workload, it is probable that they will end up devoting very little
time
to reviewing what they have learned or even completely ignoring their school assignments.
As a result
, they may find it difficult to have a firm grasp of some school subjects, which could eventually lead to poor academic performance. Linked to the first idea is the fact that
children
may have a lack of spare
time
even if they manage to juggle their
job
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with their studies, given that
children
generally spend eight hours a day at school. Because of
this
, they will probably be left with limited freedom to explore their personal interests, socialize with their peers, and take enough rest.
Such
poor work-life balance could result in both physical and mental exhaustion, which is too much to bear at their age.
On the other hand
, despite these drawbacks, I would argue there are more benefits to
this
trend.
Firstly
, it enables a child to gain a lot of valuable work experience, which can greatly benefit them at a later stage in life.
For example
, by being exposed to a real working environment, they are likely to get the opportunity to learn a number of skills ranging from communication to
time
management,
thus
giving them a head start in terms of their future career development. Despite the increasingly competitive
job
market, they can stand a much higher chance of securing full-
time
employment when entering adulthood compared to their peers, since most employers tend to hire
job
applicants with prior experience.
Furthermore
, having a part-
time
job
means that
children
can earn a salary. As they learn to meet some of their basic needs independently, not only can they help reduce their parents’ financial burden, but they can
also
learn about money management, which better prepares them for their future. In conclusion,
while
taking a part-
time
job
could possibly be overwhelming to
children
, they have the chance to get
the
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exposure to
working
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the working
a working
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environment and generate income.
Therefore
, I am fully convinced that the demerits are eclipsed by the merits.
Submitted by pramestime on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the question asked. This helps to maintain a strong coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical flow of the essay, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more specific details or personal anecdotes, where relevant. This will help bolster your main points and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the question in a balanced way. You can achieve this by evenly discussing both advantages and disadvantages within your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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