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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Young people who commit serious crimes such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #crimes #robbery #attacks #adults
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Some adopt a view that the youth should be responsible for their violent crimes as same as the grown-ups. In my perspective, I absolutely agree with
this
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 statement for some reasons.
To begin
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 with, people should recognize that hash punishments should be introduced to the millennials in order to set an example for the public in the upcoming years. It is a fact that crime rates among adolescents have been significantly increasing in recent years due to the slight sentences
such
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 as warning, fine which is thought to be too tolerant.
This
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,
however
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, would lead others to be likely to carry out the crimes since they figure out the loose judiciary. Without severe penalties,
this
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 cult would be a considerable concern for the community.
Furthermore
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, imprisonment or death sentences should be taken into consideration so as to discourage the youth from delinquency. In fact, if those types were enacted, the young individuals would take wrongdoings into account seriously because of the significant price they have to pay.
Therefore
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, these punishments would help shield them from having illegal behaviours, mitigate civil unrest and educate them to become useful citizens for society.
Although
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 some people believe that they are too young to perceive their behaviours, I think that the law shouldn't be too tolerant so that our society would be more ideal. In conclusion, even though there is room for disagreement, I strongly believe that both ages should be sentenced equally for the above-mentioned reasons.
Submitted by bonbon16319 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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