IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today's globalised world, there is a growing belief that the most rural
people
Use synonyms
 are relocating to towns;
consequently
Linking Words
 rural population is steadily decreasing.
While
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 there are some benefits to
this
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 approach, I believe that the potential drawbacks far outweigh the advantages. As many human primary required have been provided from rural
people
Use synonyms
's efforts. On one hand, there is a wide range of debates about decreasing the settlements of the country, which creates serious challenges,
such
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 as workforce shortage, reduction in agricultural production and cattle. More specifically, the decline of farm crops like wheat, rice, and corn, as human basic needs, has a direct impact on
people
Use synonyms
's lives,
also
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 they cannot provide enough nutritional food for everybody.
For example
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, the BBC Learning English reported that the cost of crops has increased, because governments faced a farmer shortage the resulting of which is an increase in expenses.
Thus
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, the rural population are like a solid foundation for sustaining life.
On the other hand
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, moving to cities gives
people
Use synonyms
 unique opportunities to develop in their personal and professional lives by providing remarkable services
such
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 as modern educational institutions, well-equipped hospitals, and easy access to banks. These features make life more enjoyable than rural lifestyles.
For instance
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, the rural
people
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,
due to
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 a poor healthcare system, have been forced to go to the nearest cities for
treatment
Punctuation problem
treatment,
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
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 they encounter transport issues.
Hence
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, civic life offers delightful moments and chances for development in the future.
To sum up
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, in my opinion,
although
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this
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 migration opens countless doors to advancement for
people
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, it leads to a lack of workforce in crucial jobs, particularly farming, playing a vital role in supplying food resources.

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task achievement
Make sure the introduction clearly states your opinion and includes a brief outline of what you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your points, especially in supporting paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to summarize your main points slightly more clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have identified both positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration, which shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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