In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. what do you think are the causes of this problem? what measures could best be taken to solve it?

#parts #world #children #teenagers #time #indoors #measures

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Nowadays, the trend to spend an enormous amount of

time

Use synonyms

closed

Change preposition

in closed

show examples

places,

instead

Linking Words

of outdoors, is becoming extremely popular between children and teenagers. Indeed, in my

country

Add a comma

,country

show examples

it is possible to note how parks are not crowded and young people are not present in squares. There are likely to be a number of reasons for

this

Linking Words

trend. one widely held view is that during the pandemic, the juvenile has been forced to learn to stay at home,

thus

Linking Words

now is a normal action. another relevant reason could be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologic

Replace the word

technological

show examples

development. In fact, modern technologies have improved video games which have become supremely attractive for children. At the same

time

Use synonyms

, social media and video calls allow teenagers to communicate with their friends without

Add an article

a move

show examples

move

Wrong verb form

moving

show examples

from their bedrooms. In my view, a possible solution could be

analyse

Fix the infinitive

to analyse

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem together at school or should be useful

organise

Fix the infinitive

to organise

show examples

labs,

becau

Correct your spelling

because

sometimes young people are not aware that

this

Linking Words

attitude is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

their relationship.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, I think

that is

Linking Words

essential the help of parents who should take care about

this

Linking Words

trend. they ought to talk with their sons and choose solutions with them. I believe that a good compromise could be organised a trip all family together. To conclude, I am convinced

that is

Linking Words

a current problem and for

this

Linking Words

reason, I think

that is

Linking Words

fundamental

Replace the word

fundamentally

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better attention of adults who sometimes underestimate

this

Linking Words

popular attitude believing

that is

Linking Words

more comfortable that their children spend

time

Use synonyms

at home. In fact,

Linking Words

particular

Add a comma

,particular

show examples

when their sons have

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

years old, spending

time

Use synonyms

outdoors with them require numerous energies.

Submitted by Federico Pivano King on Thu Mar 03 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. what do you think are the causes of this problem? what measures could best be taken to solve it?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Write a report describing the information in the graph below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1.

In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.