IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

University should accept the equal number of male and female student in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement

#university #student
The graph illustrates the information of
price
 in global food and oil over 11 years period from 2000 to 2011. As an overview, the most noticeable is both the average
price
 of food and oil provided a similar trend which was a significant increase from 2000 before reaching its peak in 2008,
then
 dramatically dropped in 2009 and went up again in 2011. According to the average oil
price
 per barrel, remaining steady in 2000 to 2003 approximately $25, gradually rose above $40, $50 in 2004 and 2005 respectively. The
peakest
Correct your spelling
peaks
peak
speakest
price
 was presented in 2008 for almost $120. On contrary, the trend enormous decreased to $40 in the year later and
consequently
 up again in 2010 and 2011 which around $100.
On the other hand
, the food
price
 index provided the least in the beginning at 90 points, the trends maintained at the same level until 2005 which was over 120 units and rocketed two times around 240 points in 2008.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed
show examples
 by a downward trend in 2009 at 140 points before hitting the top point at 250 in 2011.
Submitted by mayokz.chalita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: