IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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Nowadays,
museums
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 are popular for any of ages because there are have many kinds of
museums
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,
such
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 as art and history. While some argue that many
museums
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 are charging for
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Add an article
a visit
the visit
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visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 but some are free. I believe that charging
people
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 who
visit
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to
Remove the preposition
apply
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museums
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 is advantages than disadvantages because of
be
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being
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 able to maintain and provide staffs to take care of the
museums
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.  
First
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 of all, maintenance
the
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of the
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 museum is significant for keeping the objects look the same or can repair
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 when
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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damage
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damaged
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. As you can see maintaining has one of
factors
Correct article usage
the factors
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 reason for charging
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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 admission to
museums
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.
In addition
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, provide
staffs
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staff
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 to
service
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serve
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 the visitor.
For example
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, a maid who is take
responsibility
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responsible
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 to make a museum looks clean. If the
museums
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 do not have a maid, it will be affected
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the visitor
a visitor
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visitor
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visitors
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.
As a result
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, I strongly believe that maintenance and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 is essential to charging
people
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 who
visit
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 the
museums
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that disadvantages to
people
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 who do not have
money
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. In certain situations,
such
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 as students and unemployed, who are do not have salary or stable finances to afford for it. In conclusion, I think charging
money
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 to
people
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 who
visit
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 the
museums
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 is an advantage for
museums
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, but there are some disadvantages to
people
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 who do not income. But ultimately, show that advantage. If charge
money
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people
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 admission the
museums
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,
then
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 they can spend that
money
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 to maintain and pay for employees to services visitors are the most important.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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