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Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
Nowadays,
museums
 are popular for any of ages because there are have many kinds of
museums
,
such
 as art and history. While some argue that many
museums
 are charging for
Add an article
a visit
the visit
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visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 but some are free. I believe that charging
people
 who
visit
to
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apply
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museums
 is advantages than disadvantages because of
be
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being
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 able to maintain and provide staffs to take care of the
museums
.  
First
 of all, maintenance
the
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of the
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 museum is significant for keeping the objects look the same or can repair
it
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them
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 when
its
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it's
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damage
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damaged
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. As you can see maintaining has one of
factors
Correct article usage
the factors
show examples
 reason for charging
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 admission to
museums
.
In addition
, provide
staffs
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staff
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 to
service
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serve
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 the visitor.
For example
, a maid who is take
responsibility
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responsible
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 to make a museum looks clean. If the
museums
 do not have a maid, it will be affected
to
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the visitor
a visitor
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visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
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.
As a result
, I strongly believe that maintenance and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 is essential to charging
people
 who
visit
 the
museums
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that disadvantages to
people
 who do not have
money
. In certain situations,
such
 as students and unemployed, who are do not have salary or stable finances to afford for it. In conclusion, I think charging
money
 to
people
 who
visit
 the
museums
 is an advantage for
museums
, but there are some disadvantages to
people
 who do not income. But ultimately, show that advantage. If charge
money
people
 admission the
museums
,
then
 they can spend that
money
 to maintain and pay for employees to services visitors are the most important.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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