Today, majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family?

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the impact of letting
children
receive the upbringing from
grandparents
because of their
parents
’ overloading working schedule. While
this
statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that the entirety of family members, namely,
grandparents
,
children
and
parents
will be influenced. Without a shadow of a doubt,
parents
will be affected positively if
children
are brought up by their
grandparents
.
To begin
with, the child’s
parents
will have more
time
to focus on their career ladder because they gain support from the
grandparents
.
Hence
, they will have a chance to thrive in the family’s financial condition in the near future because of the numerous
time
they allocate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
working.
For example
, the majority of workers suffer from a heavy workload, but, with the assistance from the
grandparents
, they slightly release stress and are able to earn a great deal during working.
Therefore
, the upbringing encouragement from the
grandparents
will have a positive impact on
parents
. Obviously, raising
children
by
grandparents
also
brings a positive impact on
grandparents
. They can spend a huge amount of
time
taking care of their nephew without having a fear of loneliness. To specify, one of the most efficient ways that
grandparents
can use to spend
time
with their nephew is teaching soft skills.
For example
, there are various types of skills, namely, cookery skills, cleaning and gardening, which either draw many benefits for the
children
or help
grandparents
to overcome the feeling of loneliness.
Consequently
,
grandparents
also
can benefit from bringing up their
children
. In conclusion, while
parents
gain
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
benefits with the
grandparents
’ support of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
upbringing, it
also
does wonders to the
grandparents
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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