Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#educationalists #child #instrument

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Some teaching experts believe that all

children

Use synonyms

ought to learn

Fix the infinitive

to play

show examples

play

Change the form of the verb

playing

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musical instruments. I strongly agree with

this

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idea because I think

music

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require more attention,

also

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music

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is able to help

children

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for choosing the field of study correctly and create a better life.

To begin

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with, entire the world, schools pay more attention to other various types of science

such

Linking Words

as mathematics, experimental science and engineering technology. It seems that

music

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is an underrated subject among people.

For instance

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, most parents desire their

kids

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kid's

kids'

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study

Fix the infinitive

to study

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engineering and medicine to

becoming

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become

show examples

engineers or doctors to attain suitable jobs and earn massive money in the future. Parents think if

children

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spend

time

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in art, they will not be successful people. While probably success is not only mean

Add the particle

to have

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have

Wrong verb form

having

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great

Add an article

a great

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occupation and income and it is insufficient. For fully satisfaction interest is

Add an article

a more

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significant issue compared to those subjects which recently has been mentioned.

Therefore

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, schools and individuals should

Change the verb form

apply

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allocate a regular and remarkable

time

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in calendars to educate how to play musical instruments for discovered real interest.

Furthermore

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music

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assists

children

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to attain mental relaxation. When kids go to school and spend too much

time

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doing assignments after that, definitely expose to exhausting moments which can decline the quality of their performance and need some

time

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to recover, For

this

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purpose playing a musical instrument is able to help them.

For example

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, I have played

guitar

Change the article

the guitar

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for becoming calm since I was an adolescent, it has been a brilliant procedure for me to cope with problems. In conclusion,

however

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, there are some

children

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and parents who do not enthusiastic to learn about musical instruments, it can assist kids in order to select appropriate the field of study,

in addition

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, it can help them to relax.

Submitted by soroush.baharloo on Fri Mar 04 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. We can learn from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples