Some people think that the main influence on young people's diet is advertising rather than family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
With the emerging impact of
advertisements
, young people
's diet
habit
is a concerning issue as the number of overweight children is on the rise. Some people
are convinced that adverts targeting young residents to shape their preferences for food
have a higher influence
than family and friends
. However
, I disagree with this
notion.
To begin
with, we are living in a world where adverts are all around us and their influence
on the young generation is more severe than adults. Advertisements
, especially those targeting teenagers who are related to food
and beverage, spend a huge amount of money to allure them to a better living standard which are
, in most cases, lies. Change the verb form
is
Consequently
, young people
are trapped and prefer fast food
to homemade menus. For instance
, a recent survey conducted on college students in my city revealed that they prefer pizza, subway sandwiches and burgers to the foods their mums prepare at home. Further
studies explained that those students have little consciousness of a balanced diet
and are exposed to TV and online advertisements
.
Having said that, family and friends
have a greater influence
on a teenager's eating habits. A family has a greater role in shaping a child's food
intake habit
and scientific studies prove that our diet
habit
is deeply rooted in the type of food
we eat in our childhood. Thus
, if a teenager has a bad eating habit
, the family is to blame for that. On top of that, when a child starts making friends
, he is significantly influenced by his friends
' eating and drinking habits. To illustrate, based on recent research published in the magazine 'Healthy Living', more than 70% school school-going teenagers try to mimic the diet
habits of their friends
whom they spend time with. These statistics clearly reveal that our family members and friends
have more influence
on our choices of foods and drinks than the advertisements
we are exposed to.
To conclude
, the foodstuff routine is a significant part of our life as it defines who we become and how healthy, both physically and psychologically, we will be in the future. Commercials, to a certain extent, have an impact on young people
's diet
, but family and friends
have an even greater role.Submitted by muhammadluthfidzulfikar on
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task response
Task Achievement: You should ensure that you address all parts of the task. While you have given an opinion, you have not thoroughly justified why you believe family and friends have a greater influence on young people's diet. Develop your ideas more rigorously and consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay requires better signposting and linking words to guide the reader through your argument. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Pay attention to the structure of your writing to ensure each paragraph clearly conveys a single idea or theme, supported by examples or explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.