Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that parents should push their
children
to be engaged in organised
group
activities
in their spare
time
, while others believe that it is crucial for offspring to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. I tend to agree with the former argument because it helps
children
to acquire multiple
skills
and they can put their energy
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
something productive. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and support my view with examples.
Firstly
, Parents must encourage their offspring to participate in organised
group
activities
in their free
time
. So, the
children
develop a whole new set of
skills
that build their own personalities and characters
such
as communication,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, planning and teamwork
skills
.
In addition
, when they grow up, they will be highly skilled persons who have many job opportunities ahead.
For instance
, studies showed that
children
can acquire
skills
easily through
group
activities
and most likely they become more successful persons when they get older
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than those who spend their free
time
alone.
On the other hand
,
children
have a great deal of energy that could be exploited through participating in systematic
group
activities
in their spare
time
,
thus
they would be doing something productive and having fun as well.
Moreover
, leaving the child alone in his free
time
often leads to
undesirable
Add an article
an undesirable
show examples
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
For instance
, recent research showed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offspring who spend a lot of
time
alone may suffer from autism in the long term. So, keeping an eye on the
children
and helping them to spend their free
time
wisely is their parents’
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
. To conclude, I support that parents should encourage their
enfants
Correct your spelling
infants
to spend their spare
time
communicating, exploring new things, having fun and acquiring more
skills
through engaging in
group
activities
because it is something fruitful and a good way to use the
children
energy.
Submitted by thraa58 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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