Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

In the modern world, more and more individuals enjoy playing

games

on computers rather than taking part in outdoor activities. The reasons for

this

vary and I would argue that

this

can have an adverse impact on the people. There are a host of reasons behind

this

phenomenon. One of them is the fact that computer

games

are well-known to be cheaper and simpler than any other kind of recreation.

This

can

also

be an effective way to entertain those who do not have much free

time

. To illustrate,

instead

of going outside to play tennis, a sport that requires lots of money and

time

to master, one can buy themselves a computer to play

games

during their spare

time

As a result

this

can save both

time

and money since

video

games

require no skills or practice in order to have the best experience. Despite being an uncomplicated and effective way of refreshment, I still believe

this

is a negative movement.

Video

games

can be very addictive,

thus

it can be very

time

-consuming if the players can not manage

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

properly.

Additionally

video

games

can be the cause of some popular mental issues.

For instance

, scientists have already proven that violent

video

games

make people become less sympathetic.

This

due to

the frequent contact with brutal scenes in those

games

that people gradually get used to. In conclusion, playing computer

games

is an undeniably efficient method of entertainment.

However

this

development may be unfavourable as it can take up

time

and cause some mental illnesses if not handled well enough.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sat Mar 05 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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