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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
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A young person has been rising
crime
Use synonyms
 in some countries. Why do teens commit a
crime
Use synonyms
 how could help them
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The factors that contribute to juvenile
crime
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, leading to
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to
Change preposition
apply
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dangerous situations must be found.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
first,
Linking Words
factors may
drive
Wrong verb form
be driven
show examples
 by peer pressure. They go through a number of changes in their adolescence. Getting influenced by their peer behavior most teens get involved in a risky activity. In the second poor socioeconomic status, family income affects the quality in which
children
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
grow up.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 neglectful parents did not pay strong attention to their
children
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. Some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 their parents divorced Reducing
crime
Use synonyms
 effective schools Teachers taught
differentiate
Add the particle
to differentiate
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 between right and wrong, they can be more careful choosing the path for themselves.
Linking Words
likewise
Rephrase
Similarly
show examples
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
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 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
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 provide primary schools
free
Change preposition
with free
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 training courses, seminar about ethics,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care
every
Change preposition
of every
show examples
 other,
supporting
Correct word choice
and supporting
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 classmate
friends
Correct word choice
and friends
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. It is
need
Correct article usage
a need
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practice
Fix the infinitive
to practice
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 caring for others and being
greatful
Correct your spelling
grateful
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, parents should
be
Verb problem
pay
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 more attention towards their studies and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
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 time
and talk
Wrong verb form
talking
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 about
openly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
their problems. To summarize,
children
Use synonyms
 are
Correct article usage
the basic
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basic
Replace the word
basis
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 of developing our country. It’s very important to hear your
children
Use synonyms
. Raising a caring respectful, ethical child is and always has been hard work, but it is something all of us can do. And no work is more important or ultimately more rewarding.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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