In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

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Children nowadays are inclined in setting their ambition at a very young age which allows them to dream big. Some people are convinced that young ones can achieve their goals if they are urged to do their best. From my point of view, I believe that

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notion has a more positive impact than its drawbacks. Admittedly,

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may not apply to all children as some of them might feel pressured if forced to their limits.

On the other hand

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, others may think that they are being controlled because they cannot do better which will result in self-pity and failure.

Furthermore

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this

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, in turn, leads to not going to school because they lose their focus

then

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they become undergraduates, lose job offers, and worst, poverty. As there are studies that the reason for poverty is unfinished education.

Nevertheless

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, the unlimited support and love given by their parents are some of the factors that push them to try hard enough to reach their ambition.

For example

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, if they do good in school it will result in a brighter outcome. Admittedly,

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will help them to have a great career opportunity from various companies that offers better compensation and promotions.

In addition

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, having a stable job and regular monthly pay will give them the freedom to buy whatever they want, go to different places, and most importantly the feeling of satisfaction.

Moreover

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, they can be proud to have a family as they can support their daily needs and send their kids to school. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that pushing our children to do their best to achieve their target leads to a better future.

However

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this

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is not suitable for some of them as there are consequences if they are put under pressure.

Submitted by josa1328 on Sun Mar 06 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inspiration
motivation
work ethic
resilience
self-confidence
self-worth
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
frustration
self-esteem
pressure
anxiety
individual effort
collaboration
social support
systemic factors
talent
opportunity
luck

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In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?