What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the digital age, Some individuals claim that the current generations
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
their leisure time far too long playing games, communicating with their comrades on social platforms,
binge-watching
Correct word choice
and binge-watching
show examples
TV shows
instead
of doing outdoor activities, especially physical exercises, leading to distinguishing youngsters from their parents and elderly people. Personally, I disagree with
this
statement as there are many effective indoor activities.
Firstly
, nowadays, children not only spend their time on useless activities but
also
on studying purposes
due to
the pandemic, which did not allow youngsters to gain an acknowledgement of academics at the institute.
Consequently
, Studying online is the main crucial purpose of using the computer in the current era.
Moreover
, some adolescents
utilised
Wrong verb form
utilise
show examples
far more computers in order to gain extra knowledge, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
unable to study at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
such
as learning other languages and content editing.
For example
, youngsters who want to be YouTubers tend to spend most of their free hours learning approaches online.
Secondly
, Nowadays, games are far more developed in various ways in order to improve children's habits and physical health by installing and connecting special equipment with the game consoles.
For instance
, the Fit Ring, which is brand new exercise equipment, allows offspring to do a wide range of healthy exercises inside their accommodation without
concerning
Replace the word
concern
show examples
about dangers from germs and transportation.
Additionally
, They have to work out intensively to pass the higher levels and
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
in that game.
Furthermore
, Parents can join in these games If they want to interact with their offspring and
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
up family bonds. In conclusion,
While
spending time on social networks,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leads to lessening their physical health, there are some playful innovations that gather parents and individuals at a young age and work out together simultaneously.
Submitted by weipanalog on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence and flow of your essay by using transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point and provides sufficient supporting details.

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