IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy food. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #taxes #food #people
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Few believe that if authorities impose a higher tax on junk
food
, it is going to motivate
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 to consume
food
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is nutritious and beneficial to
health
Correct pronoun usage
their health
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. I assert that it may reduce the ingestion to some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 but not that
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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efficient means to steer the general public in their eating habits.
To begin
 with, the increase in the price of fast
food
 is only going to impact the weaker segment of society.
In other words
, only poverty
drive
Fix the agreement mistake
drives
show examples
 people will think to substitute their dishes because of
this
 cost increase. The affluent course will
last
 to go for their prefered choice;
this
 means the only segment of society is going to be affected because of the high cost.
Therefore
, it is not the best answer to the issue. As opposed to accelerating the taxes government should attempt to teach the general public about the adverse effects of eating unhealthy meals by organising educational efforts. Moving farther, the predominant reason behind
this
 tendency of preferring ready to cook
food
 is insufficient time. These days both
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 are functioning and career-oriented and do not have spare time to cook their meal so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they opt to packaged no matter at what price.
However
, the state can alter the eating habit of the public by making healthy
food
 readily available so that it can be convenient to elect for freshly cooked foods. Even though, if the cost of healthy meals will be high individuals will pick them over unhealthy diets. In summary, unequivocally putting higher taxation may bring several changes in the eating pattern and taste of the customer but not that far. Educating individuals about the health benefit of eating healthy
food
 and making it readily available will probably be a better way to bring the shift.
Submitted by mathewtp1969 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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