Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

#health #professionals #people #time #sports #loneliness #lack #fitness #address

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It is suggested that the elderly

people

Use synonyms

should participate in more outdoor activities and engage with more

people

Use synonyms

to maintain a healthy condition, while some retired

people

Use synonyms

fail to do so. I believe the main factor related to

this

Linking Words

issue is mental health, and it is achievable to some degree. Admittedly,

people

Use synonyms

who just experienced retirement may feel a sense of degradation and lack of confidence due to the fact that they are no longer being recognized as a performer in workforce terms,

this

Linking Words

cause may lead to a loss of self-validation.

As a result

Linking Words

, they may experience an unhealthy mental condition, ranging from being reluctant to do any activities to depression.

Additionally

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, if the situation continues, the negative impacts on their emotions and physics may become permanent. To address

this

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issue, there are several implementations that we can take.

Firstly

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, psychological assistance. introducing retired

people

Use synonyms

to more peers who had similar backgrounds and experiences may reduce their mental pressure.

Secondly

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, inviting them to more group activities,

such

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as dancing or hiking,

this

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approach may help them to inhabit healthy habits while increasing their social coherences with the group.

Finally

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Change the capitalization

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advocate the idea that pays more attention and care to our parents and grandparents. they deserve to be treated

this

Linking Words

way as they get older. To sum up, losing the function of being a worker may result in a mental breakdown, especially for elderly

people

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, we should support them mentally and physically to cope with the issue, by guiding them towards a healthy life pattern and paying more care to them.

Submitted by chaeunjun on Mon Mar 07 2022

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?