Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

#health #professionals #people #time #sports #loneliness #lack #fitness #address

It is suggested that the elderly

people

should participate in more outdoor activities and engage with more

people

to maintain a healthy condition, while some retired

people

fail to do so. I believe the main factor related to

this

issue is mental health, and it is achievable to some degree. Admittedly,

people

who just experienced retirement may feel a sense of degradation and lack of confidence due to the fact that they are no longer being recognized as a performer in workforce terms,

this

cause may lead to a loss of self-validation.

As a result

, they may experience an unhealthy mental condition, ranging from being reluctant to do any activities to depression.

Additionally

, if the situation continues, the negative impacts on their emotions and physics may become permanent. To address

this

issue, there are several implementations that we can take.

Firstly

, psychological assistance. introducing retired

people

to more peers who had similar backgrounds and experiences may reduce their mental pressure.

Secondly

, inviting them to more group activities,

such

as dancing or hiking,

this

approach may help them to inhabit healthy habits while increasing their social coherences with the group.

Finally

Change the capitalization

show examples

advocate the idea that pays more attention and care to our parents and grandparents. they deserve to be treated

this

way as they get older. To sum up, losing the function of being a worker may result in a mental breakdown, especially for elderly

people

, we should support them mentally and physically to cope with the issue, by guiding them towards a healthy life pattern and paying more care to them.

Submitted by chaeunjun on Mon Mar 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Some people think that University degree is needed for good profession while others believe that experiences plays the key role, so people should go work straight after school.