IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every year large number Of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons discussed the advantages and disadvantages Of migration for the individual and for society as a whole

#year #people #country #migration #society
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It is undeniable that
people
Use synonyms
 seek
for
Change preposition
apply
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good
Add an article
a good
the good
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opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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, not to mention the opportunity to live abroad. The hope for creating
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new overseas life has given some
people
Use synonyms
 the urge to migrate as a worker,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
, or even as
Add an article
a refugee
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refugee
Fix the agreement mistake
refugees
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. As reported by The Economist, enormous
people
Use synonyms
 have migrated over the past decade
with
Change preposition
for
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 various reasons. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of
migration
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
migration
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 makes some
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
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get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international exposure.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can know other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and make them
to
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apply
show examples
be more
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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.
Moreover
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, some countries offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent opportunities to study and work.
Thus
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, those opportunities can broaden their knowledge and skill
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has been beneficial to compete in the job market.
Additionally
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,
migration
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 enriches the destination country with more bright
people
Use synonyms
 to develop them. Despite its advantages, it
also
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 makes the country to be more populous. As a city get crowded, it produces the non-sense price of having a property,
such
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 as
apartment
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an apartment
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 and landed house. Many
people
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 cannot afford the housing and tend to rent for the rest of their life. Not only does it affect
to
Change preposition
apply
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the house price, but it
also
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 affects
to
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apply
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the quality of air. Having more
people
Use synonyms
 means the carbon footprint will
also
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 increase. As
people
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 need to mobilize, the need
of
Change preposition
for
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 cars rises and makes the air contaminated with pollution. To be concluded, it is convinced that
migration
Use synonyms
 has two sides of coins. The advantages and disadvantages of it can be regulated and more controlled if the government plays a role in
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. Having more
people
Use synonyms
 in a country means the carbon footprint will
also
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 increase.
In
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On
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Correct article usage
the other
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other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
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, the difference of cultures often occurs some racist acts towards each other. It is believed that
crowded
Correct article usage
a crowded
show examples
 city contributes to the quality of life

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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