IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Two maps below display the centre of a small
town
Use synonyms
 called Islip, the upper one shows the present version of the
town
Use synonyms
 and the other one shows the plans for its development. In general, the
town
Use synonyms
 has been fully renovated. As we can see from the present map, there is no path connecting either the Northside or the Southside of the
town
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, in order to improve the traffic, the city has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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planned to establish a dual carriageway in the shape of a circle to surround the whole
Islip
Change preposition
of Islip
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 city.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are two rows of shops which the one close to the Northside of the city has been planned to replace as a shopping centre. The local government
also
Linking Words
 planned to improve the public facilities near
around
Change preposition
apply
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the area,
such
Linking Words
 as
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
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 stop and car park which are going to be situated
next
Linking Words
 to the shopping centre. Across the shops, we can easily find out that they planned to re-organize the housing area.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for safety considerations, a sidewalk
that is
Linking Words
 designed for only pedestrians will be constructed between two rows of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shops.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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