Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals claim
that is
crucial to utilize leisure
activities
that improve the brain,
such
as reading and forming jigsaw puzzles.
However
, others think that it is imperative to rest the
mind
while having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spare time.
To begin
with, reading and doing word puzzles improve
cognitive
Correct article usage
the cognitive
show examples
mind
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for retirees. According to research, reading books and doing puzzles regularly
such
as
cross word
Correct your spelling
crossword
show examples
or soduko games, are ways to enhance the brain and eliminate neurodegenerative problems
such
as dementia and
alzheimers
Change the capitalization
Alzheimers
Alzheimer's
show examples
.
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
tested
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
several individuals who are not working especially the elderly.
Thus
, they are proven to eliminate the early onset of dementia for young and elderly people.
On the other hand
, others argued that it is better to rest the
mind
.
This
is true
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
some individuals who worked in highly stressful jobs like doctors, engineers and lawyers who utilized their brains often at work. These people engage in physical
activities
such
as running, walking, hiking, and other physical sports
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
that would help them to destress from daily
activities
. These
activities
assist them to maintain a healthy
mind
and body.
As a result
, they are productive
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their work. In conclusion, having
a leisure
Correct the article-noun agreement
leisure activities
a leisure activity
show examples
activities
whether it is physical or not are beneficial for
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
and body. In my opinion, I believe that they are essential to improve the brain to eliminate neurodegenerative problems
such
as dementia or other cognitive
mind
problems.
Submitted by marilyelvira on

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Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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