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Band 5

Some people think that technology makes life complex, so we should make our life simpler without using technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #life
In today’s world, it is believed by a part of the population that the complexity that
technology
 brings is unnecessary and we should simplify our
life
 by getting rid of them.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 claim because
technology
 has brought us convenience more than anything else and it is impossible to imagine our
life
 without them. 100 years ago,
life
 was indeed so much simpler than today.
However
, without the help of
technology
; transportation, communication, and many more services were extremely poor and hard to access. So no one can deny that
technology
 has revolutionized all those basic aspects; now we can travel to the other side of the world with just a few hours, see and talk to each other with just a few clicks. It is true that
technology
 can somewhat turn our
life
 just a bit more complicated,
although
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 the end, it
also
 makes our daily basics simpler yet much more efficient than ever before.
Moreover
,
life
 without wonderful machinery no doubt is challenging as
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 has already got familiar with using them every single day. If we wipe out
everyday
Add an article
an everyday
show examples
object
Change the noun form
objects
show examples
 like
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
,
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, and bullet
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
, the economy would
collasp
Correct your spelling
collapse
 within a few days due to the fact that a huge number of jobs are currently relying on
those machine
Change the determiner
that machine
those machines
show examples
.
For instance
, no sooner had the
first
 mobile phone
were
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 born than companies and factories started to rise.
This
 gave millions of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 an opportunity to have a job and put their
life
 standard higher than before. To conclude, it is safe to say that there is no point in making
life
 simpler by throwing away
technology
 and we should thank them for giving us numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
merits in the
first
 place.
Submitted by lkhoa0696 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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