In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby, To what extend do you think this is a possible trend?
It is true to say that the conception of shopping has changed in the pineapple from Costa Rica could come across in some developed countries.
last
few decades. In previous times, it was seen as a domestic task whereas
nowadays it is considered a hobby. In my view, this
vision is a complete misconception as it ends up encouraging consumerism among
society.
On one hand, I believe shopping is still considered a house task Change preposition
in
however
, a new scope has been associated with it. Even though this
activity is still being done regularly, the point is how we actually manage it. Today’s life offers us a wide range of places to go and buy staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
whereas
in the past the selection of places was more accurate as there was a lack of choices and abundance. For example
, the situation of going to the supermarket and selecting whether to buy a kiwi from New Zealand orCorrect article usage
a
Consequently
, it is more likely to lose this
consciousness about where do
Unnecessary verb
apply
theis
food actually Correct your spelling
this
come
from and the effort that takes Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
exporting
Change the verb form
to export
them
to many different places.
Correct pronoun usage
it
On the other hand
, is precisely this
new conception of shopping that now govern
specific countries which Correct subject-verb agreement
governs
lead
to misunderstanding the aim of it. Buying either food or clothes should accomplish our needs and make our Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
life
easier. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Although
, the common mistake appears when we Correct word choice
However
fail
into the habit of consumerism which means Correct your spelling
fall
to consume
without any purpose but consuming itself. Change the verb form
consuming
For instance
, it is commonly accepted to go to the shopping mall after a tough working day to pay for something that makes us feel better. Overall
, I think that obsessively buying certain items reflects an attempt of filling
up an emotional need, so that, we feel more satisfied after doing it.
Change preposition
to fill
To conclude
, I agree that shopping could be understood as a hobby but it is definitely a bad approach. In my opinion, it
certainly exists Correct pronoun usage
there
this
huge industry of buying without any which induces the loss of focus while
doing it. It is undeniable that buying something should be a conscious act of selection rather than a compulsive action made just for fun.Submitted by mariamdedeu on
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task response
- Your essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the shift in perception of shopping from a routine task to a hobby, but it lacks depth and fails to provide a clear opinion on the extent to which this trend is possible.
- It is important to fully develop your ideas and provide a more focused analysis of the given topic. Make sure to clearly state your position and support it with relevant arguments.
coherence and cohesion
- Your essay has a basic introduction that introduces the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines your position on the topic.
- The conclusion restates the main points discussed but does not provide a strong closure to the essay. Consider summarizing your arguments and giving a final thought on the topic.
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